Confessions Of A Fat Girl I
09 Oct 2010 1 Comment
in Personal Growth Tags: african american women and weight, natural essence, personal growth, weight
Okay, so before I start be warned that this blog series is not going to be all pretty. There will be somethings that I discuss in here that may piss people off. Including some members of my family. Understand that certain things that I discuss in here are given from one perspective, MINE, and that is because it is my blog. I am discussing certain events and how they impacted my life. Some may agree or disagree. It is what it is!
This blog is called “Confessions Of A Fat Girl.” Yes, the fat girl is me. I have spent so much time trying to “fix” the outside not realizing that the change has to begin on the inside. I wanted to lose weight for someone elses approval and there are times when I still have that feeling. I found out that losing weight for someone else is just stupid! People will always find something wrong with you so the point is to be at peace with the Self and getting to know the Self. That is the path I am on now.
I have always been a big girl. I developed my breast before anyone else in my 6th grade class and by the time I was in high school I ate myself into the catagory of being overweight. My father had very little sympathy or like for overweight women and I was often a target for some of his comments. I grew up very self conscious and feasted on any praise I received in reference to my looks (those comments were few and far between). I grew up and dropped a lot of weight. However, after having two children and coming out of an abusive relationship I blew up from 160lbs to 320lbs. Thanks to my sister and brother-in-law, I was able to drop a considerable about of weight, but I still have a way to go.
My weight comes because of various reasons…
1. I love junk food. Isn’t it a shame that I love something classed as JUNK food. You would think the very name alone would keep me from eating it. I mean c’mon. Can we really sue McDonalds and be mad at the Hostess company when they are telling us what it is….JUNK! But I used this food as my drug. It sedated me and I had a love/hate relationship with it. I loved the taste, texture and the euphoric feeling I received, but when I came down off my high, I hated myself for indulging in it and hated the weak and pathetic fat girl.
2. Pure laziness. I am not going to lie, I HATE to exercise. I like to do activities, but I can’t standing exercising.
3. I eat when I am depressed and bored. For a while that was just about every day after I got out of my abusive relationship.
4. And this one is ver important…..EXCUSES. I am good at excuses and it comes to doing something that I know I should be doing, but don’t want to do…I can give some great excuses! Bottom line, it’s really spouting crap!
So, why am I doing this now. Well, I am 38 years old. I already lost 70 lbs. I said, I refuse to go into 40 carrying baggage from my childhood, teens, 20′s & 30′s along with extra weight. This is my time to really purge and let go. I have so many wonderful things going in my life and I have come so far in my Spirit, that it is just time for me to go the rest of the way.
I think none of us truly realize that how what you carry on the inside reflects on the outside. We think a simple diet will change everthing and it is so much more than that. Yes, you do want to change your eating habbits, but you also want to change how you think and act.
This is going to be an interesting journey for me.
To be continued…..
Root Chakra
08 Apr 2010 2 Comments
The root chakra is the first chakra. It lays at the coccyx area which is attached to the sacrum. The root chakra represents being grounded and having an understanding that everything you will ever need has already been provided to you by the Divine.
During gestation, development begins with the crown chakra and the root does not develop until after birth. It is nurtured and influenced by our childhood experiences such as, acceptance by our parents and extended families, acceptance by our neighbors and friends in addition to any other experiences we have as children in our day-to-day activities. The child’s environment has a great impact on how they perceive themselves and when they are not nurtured in the home and have no outlet or support in the greater community they can build up negativity, insecurity, resentment, depression, anxiety…etc. We spend the rest of our lives trying to get back in touch with that crown chakra. So during gestation the flowing of energy flows from the crown to the root and when we come into the physical world, it flows from the root to the crown.
So what are the long-term effects of a weakened root or blocked root? The root chakra is the foundation for all other chakra and if it does not have a constant flow of energy and individual will experience mental, physical and spiritual illness. The person becomes selfish and reckless. They lack trust in themselves and others and even cause pain, first to themselves and then to others. If not given a strong foundation (as mentioned above) they can develop with the feeling of abandonment. Individuals with a weak or blocked root chakra tend to depend to validation from others. While they may seem to improve, in fact all this does is cause the blockages to become stronger because they are depending on outside forces to bring them a false sense of happiness and peace of mind. This false sense of happiness and peace is easily destroyed when their outside source is no longer available.
How can a person strengthen their root chakra? The first step is to gain an innerstanding of who you are and how you create your environment. This is the best way to take control of your own destiny. Innerstand that there is no such thing as a victim. There is only cause and effect. What does that mean? Simple, we have made certain choices in this and past lifetimes that have put us on a certain path in this lifetime. The experiences are to assist us in gaining a deeper innerstanding into who we are. We make a choice to either look for a deeper meaning to life because we are tired of the constant cycle of negative experiences. The other choice that can be made is that we become wrapped up in the experiences and begin to identify with them to the point of being pushed further away from the truth of The Self. Gaining an innerstanding assist in opening up a pathway to a greater consciousness and while a person may or may not attain Enlightenment in this lifetime, what they have done is open door way that allows the purification process to take place. Once a person begins to trust in Self and understand that they have all they need to sustain blockages begin to clear and energy begins to flow feeding not only the root chakra but those chakra that operate on a higher level also. Order can begin to take place and as long as a person is willing to grow, balance is sure to follow.
How can you do work on your own root chakra? There are many methods to clearing the root chakra. You can get energy work done, but there is always homework to follow. Energy work only helps when a the individual receiving is open and willing to do work beyond the therapy. Otherwise, Reiki becomes a temporary band-aid causing the energy to become stagnant. Meditation, proper diet, physical exercise, and breathing exercises are all excellent ways to assist in clearing the root as long as the person who is doing these activities understand that a change of attitude also has to take place during the process.
New Natural Essence
13 Feb 2010 Leave a Comment
Natural Essence is growing and expanding. We will be moving to a new location this spring and offering the follwing:
Reiki & Ra Sekhi Therapy
Usui Reiki Certification
Chakra Balancing
Mother’s Keeper (Doula) Services
Glorious Light Meditation Workshops
and much more…..
More information to come….
New Beginnings
11 May 2009 1 Comment
I am 36 years old and since I can remember I have always had a baby on my hip beginning with my first child while I was at the young age of 19. As a way to stay home with my children I began a daycare, discovered I really liked it and went on to earn my degree in Early Childhood Education. I have been truly blessed to be able to be apart of so many young lives.
17 years later and I am about to watch my eldest child graduate high school. I look at her and I am in aww because in many areas she is way more advance than I was at her age. My son will graduate next year and I am just amazed at the future they will be heading into. I have to admit, there is a little envy on my part when I think about them beginning their life out in the world. As I watch my children grow, I realize that I have done some growing also. While I still have passion for children my desire to have a daycare has been replaced with something that goes along the lines of the change in lifestyle I have experienced over the four years.
It is amazing to me when I think about how much my life has changed and how I want everything in my life to reflect that growth. Hopefully I am able to represent without ego because I know that will only hold me back.
The daycare and I have outgrown each other but my desire to work with children and families has not. I have talked about it for a long time and finally came to conclusion that my passion has evolved and I needed to work my passion in order for me find some true peace of mind. One thing kept me from moving forward and in this time of economic hardship I am sure a lot of people understand why I hesitated shutting gown the daycare for a while. I give thanks that I have a supportive husband who is willing to work two jobs so I can venture out and do work that truly has my interest at this point in my life.
I have no fear when I think about what is ahead of me because I am going to work to just live for today. For today, I will not have anger. For today, I will seek peace and be a blessing to others. At 36 years old I am blessed to be able to move forward to a new chapter of my life with the love and support of those around me. Will I be rich and famous, I doubt that. However, I will have peace of mind knowing that I am doing something that will allow me to continue to grow and allow the Divine to work through me.
Chakras & The Fetus
11 May 2009 2 Comments
in Chakras, Childbirth
The spine is one of the first things to develop in the fetus along with the legs, arms, face, eyes, and heart. Since the chakra system is situated in the spine, it makes sense to take the time to look at the chakra system of the fetus and see how it effects the development of the child.
During the first two months in the womb a child’s chakra system begins to develop. Your developing child at this stage is so connected with the life force energy that the chakras are still fused together under one energy field. Essentially your child is at a oneness with the universe, this is a state that we as adults are striving to get to. The unconditional love is vital for the child.
As the fetus becomes an embryo, the body organs began to become differentiated, blood cells and hormones are forming and the baby continues to develop. The chakras also become differentiated. the crown chakra is the first to become active. The development of the child brings he/she closer to the material world even though they are still immersed in the world of spirit. Meditation is a good way for the mother to support the development of the infants crown chakra.
On a physical level, in the fourth month the child’s face, eyelids, nose and lips are noticeable and the fetus become animated and begins to make motions with the hands. The baby can also smell. At this point the first eye (third eye or forehead) chakra becomes active meaning that beginning development of higher mental functions. The child’s development is now approaching the world of the mind which it will enter at birth. Mommy can nurture the first eye of her child by reading and speaking with her child on a mental level.
While no major physical changes happen to the fetus during the fifth month, it is still very important. The organs of the fetus begin to assume the form required for development and the inner structure is better defined. The child can perceive light and smell through the belly of the mom. During this time the throat chakra becomes active and so does the child’s ability to communicate on all levels as the child can see, hear and sense the outside world. The mother becomes more aware of the babies movements. Speaking to the child, playing music and using light to stimulate awareness are some of the ways mommy and daddy can communicate and nurture the child’s development.
in the sixth month the baby can be up to 16 inches long and assumes the fetal position and is more constricted by the moms body. The heart chakra begins to develop and with it the power of love. Love begins to reside in the human heart and the child begins to communicate on a metal level with its environment . The brain is not yet fully developed so it does not sufficient to grasp the logical information but the feeling is strong enough to leave its imprint. The communication of love from mom can deepen the child’s sense of security and is also nourishment to the child. The mom should be surrounded by loving and supportive people. Play music that is calming and corresponds with the mother’s heartbeat.
The life force energy in your baby gets stronger in the seventh month as the child has a growth spurt. The solar plexus chakra begins to develop and the child is fully in the physical world. It has a sense of self, it’s strength and the emotions are set. It has also developed the capacity to control it’s life force energy which is evident by the fact that the childs activity is increased and can sometime affect the mother. This stage of the development is vital because it influences self-confidence and the opportunity for success. Mommy can use this time to begin to understand the new life she is bringing into the world by paying attention to his/her movement and responding to them (talking with the child).
Sexual organs begin become fully developed in the eighth month. At this point the sacral chakra begins to awaken and will have a great impact on the child’s later sexuality which is mirrored in it’s physical development. Other impulses come into play meaning the creative and artistic expressions along with the ability to transmit healing energy. This phase had a great effect on a healthy bodily awareness and the ability to enjoy life. Mom needs to encourage and engate in creative activities during this period. Writing, painting and paying music are all ways to transmit that energy to the baby. It does not matter if you are a Monet, what does matter is are the creative impulses that are transmitted to the baby.
Nine months have gone by and your baby has gone through a lot of growth on a mental, physical, and spiritual level. the child is ready to emerge from the safety of the mommy’s womb. At this point the baby is developing fat and gaining weight. The child begins to do his/her part to prepare for the birthing process by changing the position and placing the head in the birth canal. The root chakra becomes active at this point as the child becomes ready for the material world . the energy of the fetus is ready to begin life in the world outside of the mothers womb. The root chakra is the focus during the first year of development. It relates to the survival needs, will to live, and sense of trust. Children with enough root chakra energy will be less prone to illness and have a stronger chance for survival. Moms happiness and sense of security during this time will have a profound impact on the child’s root chakra. Mom needs to focus on the child and the strengthening of the root chakra will be develop in mom and child.
Reference: A Handbook of Chakra Healing by Kalashatra Govinda
Glorious Light Meditation
10 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in Meditatiion, Workshops
- Glorious Light Meditation by: Sebai Dr. Muata Ashby
The Glorious Light Meditation is the oldest meditation system is present day history. This system comes to us from Northeast Africa, the land of Ancient Kemet (present day Egypt). This system, discovered by Sebai Dr. Muata Ashby, can be found in the tomb of Sage King Seti Uaa (Seti I), father of Ramses the Great. Sage King Seti Uaa had it inscribed in his tomb around 1350 B.C.E. However, the G.L.M is much older than the inscription. (www.gloriouslightmeditaiton.org).
In today’s troubled world, many people are looking for ways to find a sense of inner peace and happiness. We are all looking for a higher meaning in life to bring some understanding to the unhappiness we may feel in these troubled times. Through the Glorious Light Meditation, as taught by Sebai Dr. Muata Ashby, it is possible to move beyond the set limitations of life.
This system begins by taking us on a journey of Lady Hetheru. We learn how Lady Hetheru was sent to the world of time and space to be an instrument of righteousness for the Supreme God, Ra. However, while doing the work of God, she became lost in the world of time and space as her worldly desires became strong. She no longer remembered her place with Ra as his power and the rays of the sun. Ra sent Lord Djehuti to bring Hetheru home. By giving Lady Hetheru Kemetic wisdom in the form of parables, Lord Djehuti truly teaches her the laws of Ma’at; truth, justice and righteousness.
Why is this myth important for the meditation? Meditation is a purification process we go through. Our enlighten Sages gave us a myth we can relate to and as we hear about her journey we become Lady Hetheru and we take her place on the journey to purify ourselves so that we may become on with the Supreme Self (God). Lord Djehuti gives us specific instructions to follow after we hear the myth. In these instructions are the tools to train the mind, gain insight, control emotions, strengthen will power, and align our life and life choices with Ma’at.
Sema Atlanta has a certified teachers and instructor. We will be launching a series of Glorious Light Meditation Classes this summer. More information coming soon. Look out and be ready for a life changing experience.
What is Reiki?
09 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in Reiki
What is Reiki?
Reiki is one of the best ways to jump start your healing ability. It helps to ease the body, mind and spirit in order to effectively direct the body’s energy to the areas that need healing. This focus of energy is the focusing of the same life force energy that runs through all living things and is the same life force energy from the Creator. When practicing Reiki or receiving Reiki treatments, you are allowing yourself to open up to something that will allow you to discover your inner Self.
While Reiki is not a religion and does not adhere to any specific religious system, it can be a spiritual experience based on the spiritual growth, needs, and wisdom of the person receiving the treatment. Reiki flows through the practitioner but is not generated by the practitioner.
How can Reiki help?
Today’s world is filled with many stressors that have a great negative impact on ones mind, body, and spirit. This negativity builds up and can cause physical, emotional, and spiritual dis-ease and suffering. Reiki can help to rid the body of these toxins . True healing requires and individual to heal on all levels and nurture the connection of mind, body, and spirit. Reiki is not magic and cannot work alone. It requires dedication from the client. A dedication to focus on healing and changing negative lifestyle habits. The key to having an effective Reiki session is to not enter the session with unreasonable expectations, but to come into it with an open mind and heart knowing that it takes work, time, patience and love to make changes. Through Reiki you can open up the body’s chakras which are essential energy centers that are not visible, but are always working through the spine.
Natural Essence offers Reiki Treatment & Certifications.
To find out more, check out www.mynaturalessence.com
Natural Essence
23 Apr 2009 Leave a Comment
Natural Essence was created because of my own personal journey for better health. I have spent most of my life fighting obesity, dis-ease, physical and mental stressors. I had even given up on myself and condition that this is what life was all about.
At my lowest point, I was taking anti-depressents for my migraines and weighed 310 to 320 lbs. I ate fast food every day and stuffed my body with sugary snacks. My only physical exercise was to walk from my bedroom to the bathroom to the kitchen and back to the bedroom. I was always angry about something. Through all of that, I knew that there was something missing from my life. I felt like I was on the dock waiting for the boat to come in, but everytime in came in I never got on. I felt like I was watching everyone else get on and passing me by.
I searched for so many things in life to bring me joy. I looked into the church, I bought material things and even worked overtime to make others happy. Never did I find true peace of mind.
In 2005, with the help of my sister and her husband I began to take the first step to renew my life. I was introduced to a vegan diet and began to clean out my health and the health of my children. One of my twins also suffered from an extreme case of eczema.
I began to see changes very quickly. I noted that my clothes were becoming loose, I didn’t have as many migraines and my energy was up. By the end of the 2005 summer I lost 60 lbs and was completely migraine free. Another thing began happening to me. I began to look more to my spiritual side and desired to have growth in that area also. I began to look in to church and other religious spiritual movements until I found something that fed my spirit.
Today my journey continues and as my spirit grows I look at life with a new eye. I see the spirit in all things and know they are all parts of the same Divine Spirit that each of us come from no matter what our life is now.
That is the core of Natural Essence. It is a place for all to come, learn, and grow so that we can all find our own inner spirit and connect to a greater Divine. As I grow, I want to share what I know with others. I learned a long time ago that my lfie is to be a life of service and I look forward to being of service.
